The 2 ladies in front of me in line were having a conversation that was loud enough for everyone in the bank to hear.
Lady #1 was remarking how angry she was at school buses. Every day they forced her stop several times along her route to work.
Lady #2 asked her if she ever considered leaving for work just 10 minutes earlier or later, to avoid them.
Lady #1 replied that she had never thought of that, but would try it.
As ridiculous as that sounds, I have been guilty of the same thing. Not with school buses, but with issues with my husband and children.
Why do I think that by continuing a behavior that doesn’t seem to be working, I will see different results?
For example, I was NOT meeting my husband’s love language. He made that known, so I increased what I was already doing, which wasn’t working. I did special things for him EVERY day. I made his breakfast and packed his lunch and made sure our house was presentable when he came home from work and ……
Finally, after years of hearing about my husband’s disappointments, we read a book about love languages.
My husband was already doing a wonderful job of meeting my love language, but I was using the wrong language with him. He was appreciative of my acts of service, but his love language is quality time.
Since I have been spending more time with him, (now all of you who follow me on Instagram understand all of the sports related pictures!), our marriage is even better.
Another example. My first two children would sit obediently at our kitchen table to complete their homeschooling work. The next two would NOT sit still. I tried EVERYTHING. I got angry and frustrated, but continued to force them to try and stay still.
Then, I learned that children have different learning styles. It’s just the way God wired them when they were knit together in my womb.
I wasn’t going to change the way they were wired, so I changed some of their curriculum. I purchased some educational CDs and we did more visual learning, in addition to our textbooks. We also did more hands-on projects.
Those active, wired, little boys did learn how to sit quietly. One completed college and is now a wonderful nurse, and the second is doing a fabulous job in college also preparing for a career in the medical field.
Are there things in your life that just aren’t working?
Maybe it’s time for a change.
Here are the two books that I referred to:
The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias
You can purchase it here.
5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
You can purchase it here.
(Those are affiliate links. If you purchase them, I get a percentage of the sale price. I only use affiliate links on things I LOVE, have read and loved, or used and loved. Twenty percent of the income helps to support Mercy House Kenya. The rest blesses my family)
I am in the midst of evaluating homeschooling families for the state of Pennsylvania. Even veteran homeschooling moms will sometimes sit on my sofa during our interview, and express doubts about their ability to provide their child with the best possible education. Their child is usually flourishing and there is no evidence that there is anything lacking,
But, it seems to be inherent in all of us. We sometimes doubt our ability to ________ well . Fill in the blank. Would it be parent well? Would it be run a business? How about treat my husband with respect?
When I feel my insecurities rising, I ask God to show me things that I may be missing, and then I lay my troubles at the cross and let Him who knows it all, hold me.
I LOVE the chorus from Casting Crown’s song Just Be Held:
So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held
Maybe you’re in a hard place. Maybe you’re not sure which way to turn, or what to do. I would suggest you stop holding on to the problems, go to the cross, and let Him hold you.
Here’s the entire song:
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