Is my home a haven for my family?

Have you  thought about your childhood lately?  I have. It’s sort of like a game. Pretend that you are in elementary school and you are walking into your house after a long day at school.  Hopefully your home was functional, (as opposed to dis-functional), and was a source of security.  Maybe even a haven. If so, why? What made it that way?  I want my home to be a haven for my husband, children, and all that enter, so I’ve been thinking about it!

For the first five years that I was a mom, my house was so cluttered and disorganized, I did not practice hospitality.  How horrible is that?!  Long story short, a friend helped me de-clutter and get organized, and my life changed dramatically.   I learned to control time and my stuff, so that time and clutter didn’t control me.

I still had a lot to learn to make my home ooze the love and acceptance that I hoped that people would feel as they entered.  One of the biggest roadblocks to peace in my home was me.  Unfortunately, that didn’t come as a huge surprise .   🙁

When dealing with my family, I would often react  quickly with words that were judgmental or negative, instead of taking the time to think, calm down, and respond with grace and wisdom.

It didn’t matter how beautiful and comfortable my house was when I was shrieking or using my annoying, high pitched. whiny, mommy meddler voice!   I had to choose to respond with respect and wisdom, with my calm voice, which often took me hours.

As with most things, practice helps!! My desire to have a home as comfortable, and filled with love, as my childhood home, was strong enough for me to change my behavior.

What helps you create a haven for your family??

I’ll share more of what I learned tomorrow!

I’m linking to:

Bonni is the author of Mom By Example

About Bonni

What happens when a Jewish girl from Philadelphia falls in love with and marries a Christian hog farmer from a small rural town 85 miles from her home? Well, in my case, I became a Christian, but struggled to be the loving wife and joyful mother to my 4 young sons. This blog was born in order to share one tip a day that I learned, that could now help other moms learn to handle life with patience, grace and joy!

5 thoughts on “Is my home a haven for my family?

  1. I’m so glad you shared this—thinking about things from the perspective of my children changes everything. One of my favorite childhood memories is my mom making applesauce cake for us after school. When we came home, the whole house would smell wonderful.

    I have noticed that my kids behave better when the house is clean and organized—and I am in a better mood too. It is hard, but whenever I take the extra five minutes here and there to tidy up, it is always worth it.

    1. You are SO right!!! An orderly house helps keep an attitude of peace in the home!! I love the applesauce cake memory! I’m going to post about memories like that in my next post! Thanks for taking the time to comment!

  2. Great post! I am working on decluttering right now and setting a more peaceful atmosphere for my home! It’s always been my dream to have my home be a safe refuge to anyone who enters. I’m still working on that.

    1. Hi! Thanks for the comment! If it’s been your dream, I’m sure that you’ll accomplish it, even if it’s little by little! It takes continual effort because almost everything that we do doesn’t stay done! Laundry, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, picking up toys………it all has to be done over and over! If making our homes organized and clutter-free was once and done, it would be so much easier!

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