A woman’s ‘knower’

Jul 10, 2012

Help. What do I do when my husband and I disagree? For the first year of my marriage I asked this question continually, and handled the situations in a very ungodly manner. Then my husband and I attended two Institute in Basic Conflict seminars which were taught by Bill Gothard, and we learned valuable information, which we continue to implement today. I have given examples of two situations in our marriage when we couldn’t agree, and how we handled it according to how we interpret scripture. You can find them here and here.

Today I’d like to give a third example. This is a very personal example involving one of our children, so I will need to be more vague, but I hope that the point is understood.

Many years ago, one of our children was hurt at the hands of an adult that we knew. I will not go into specifics. My husband and I were not in agreement as to what should be done. That is putting it mildly. I was insistent that we involve the police. He was admitantly opposed. We argued, (not a good thing), and then agreed to calm down for an hour and talk again. During that hour he prayed. I was too upset to pray. (How ridiculous is that?? I was, and am FAR from perfect!)

After an hour, I again insisted that we call the police. I explained that my ‘knower’ or ‘my intuition’ knew that we must do this. I believe with all of my being that what the world calls ‘a woman’s intuition’ is often actually the leading of the Holy Spirit. I have found that women, as nurturers, and very emotional and intuitive creations, can sometimes know things about people due to promptings from the Holy Spirit. That is what happened in this case with my child.

We often can’t explain the ‘whys’…. We just know.

We know that we know that we know.

In this instance, my husband agreed to call the police.

He trusted my leading.

It turned out that this adult had hurt other children and after we reported it many others whose children had also been hurt came forward.

The world can not make males and females any more equal than God has already created them , but I do believe that there is a clear course to take when hubbies and wives disagree.

I have found that a calm discussion followed by a husband making the final decision is a win – win situation.

I would love to hear examples from your life!

Bonni is the author of Mom By Example

6 Comments

Mom of A and a July 11, 2012 at 11:51 am

Hi, coming over from the Women living well Wednesdays linky party. I hope and pray that your child and the other children were not traumatized with what happened to them.
- Bonni July 12, 2012 at 11:07 pm
  
  Thanks so much for the comment and your concern! That means a lot! No, the child that was hurt received counseling, and the rest of the family actually seemed to form a bond and grow closer together.
'Becca July 11, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I think it's great that you came to a mutual decision. You let your husband make the final call, but he was agreeing with you, following your lead, which sometimes IS the right thing to do. I am so glad you were able to help other families as well as seek justice for your own child! I have found that when we disagree, usually it's worth the time and effort to keep listening to each other until we come to a point where we agree. A great example is our son's middle name. We only have this one child, and we had agreed that they baby's middle name would be a name from my family; if we had a girl, her middle name would have been my grandmother's name, so I was advocating that our boy's middle name be a male name similar to my grandma's because I loved her so much. But his father had concerns about that name (associations with famous people and fictional characters, and the way it sounds with his last name) and he was advocating for a very unusual name that we'd thought had been made up for a favorite science fiction character until we saw it in a baby name book. We argued off and on for 5 days; it wasn't an ugly fight that ruined our new-baby time or anything like that, but it was bothering us that we couldn't agree. Finally he sat next to me writing our son's name over and over again with the two middle names, initials, etc...and I suddenly realized that the name he was suggesting is a masculine version of the name of my cousin who has done SO much better than anyone predicted (multiple birth defects) and is such a nice person, AND that name is like a combination of the name of another cousin with the name of my great-great-grandfather that is the middle name of several relatives! So it IS a name from my family as well as the name of our sci-fi friend! I am so much happier with our son's name, and I felt so much more loving toward him at that time, than I would have if he had "won" the argument and chosen that name over my objections.
- Bonni July 12, 2012 at 11:04 pm
  
  What a GREAT example! I love how you ended the comment with how you felt more loving, than if you had 'won'! SO TRUE! In the first year of my marriage, I was SO insistent that I won every argument. How horrible. What did I think that I was winning?! Thanks for taking the time to share!
Joy July 14, 2012 at 9:08 am

What a cruel person that was. anyway, I am happy that justice was been done and that you and your husband agreed what the best thing to do. Dropping by from WLWW
- Bonni July 14, 2012 at 10:55 am
  
  Yes, a very sick, cruel person. I am sure that he has a story behind his behavior, but my 'job' was to protect my child, and other children! Thanks for taking the time to comment! Have a nice weekend!