Looking back at my parenting techniques, there are several things that I did that were effective, and I’d like to share them in this post. I have already shared some of my ‘failures’. You can read about them here.
My husband and I received intense premarital counseling.
The messianic Rabbi leading the counseling sessions advised us to do the following if God blessed us with children:
-Say things once, and then act. If I tell my child not to touch something, and they touch it, I need to act immediately. I need to go to them, talk to them eye to eye, and explain that they didn’t obey. They needed to know that willful disobedience was cause for appropriate disciplinary action, and that ‘slow obedience is no obedience.’ The Rabbi explained that if our children learn to obey authority quickly, they will be more likely to obey the urging or prompting of the Holy Spirit in their lives. I can’t prove or disprove that, but I do know that it was wonderful and freeing for the children to obey promptly, and learn to respect authority.
-Show honor and respect for my husband. God has planned an umbrella of protection within a family. Dad is to be the spiritual leader in the home. Although mom and dad are equally important, when they can’t agree, mom needs to submit to dad’s authority. I can lecture my children daily about the importance of love, respect, and submission to their father, but they will remember and replicate what they see, not hear.
-I need to remember that during their formative years, I am not my children’s friend. I am their mother. I need to set boundaries for them, and help them learn many things, including their need for a Savior. Contrary to popular belief, my disfunctions do not corrupt my sinless and perfect babies. My babies are born sinful, and I need to help them learn to acquire skills to live disciplined and fruit-producing lives.
I will become their friend.
I have become friends with 7 of my 8 children, so I KNOW that it happens, and it is icing on the cake of parenthood! (#8 is 16 years old, so it won’t be long until our relationship changes also)
I would LOVE to read your parenting successes!
Photo of our very imperfect, latest Christmas card.